Ok Im a stupid person who tries very very hard to follow her own advice but curiosity kills me - Im such a present opener!
Today I got on the scale! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WTF!!!! I have lost 1 - one - une - un -ains - ien - eens - isa - dua - 'e-kahi - ena - ikk - odyn - hitotsu - qig - yksi - safu - besik - aon -newt pound!
I said that I WOULD NOT GET ON A SCALE UNTIL MY FILL - Yes that is what I said. No scale until April 12th - no - No - NO!!!!! I even told other newbies DONT GET ON THE SCALE! Im not going to - well guess what - Im an asshole who doesn't follow her own sound advice!
This morning my tricky little brain - the one that can send me into a tail spin of total 'diet depression' made me fell so light - I had to know - I must be down another 10lbs. ARGH!!!! NO!!!
I was so shocked and so sad - OMG what if Im the girl who doesn't lose - or worse what if I have to get a revision - a repair or any more surgery on my body????
I wanted to sit and cry and eat and eat and eat.... If I could have willed a bathroom full of chocolate I would have eaten every square inch of it. That evil monster that lurks in my brain did not let me go too long without a visit. I am still so sad as I write this - I have failed every other attempt to lose weight why on earth did I feel that this would change everything - did I do it again?
I thought I had a plan but really Im back to work tomorrow with NO PLAN - Soup is my plan - Im such a loser - I put my faith in SOUP. Im sure I will be stressed out and overwhelmed and I will want that little food fix to make the stress go away and I was going to go through the whole process of heating and eating soup instead of popping a small little chocolate in my mouth? HELLO WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Ok so I'm now here blogging - this is apparently PLAN B?
I've got nothing - Ive read my book - NOTHING - Im trying to back read on all of you amazing been there done that blogs and I can't concentrate or focus - I just want to cry! Im so unprepared - HOW THE HELL IS IT ALMOST MONDAY????? Where did my 2 weeks go? Im almost on soft - I can eat everything so far - except potato pancakes and even more than my cup at one sitting and my body is not hungry but my brain is FREAKING STARVING!