Ok Im a stupid person who tries very very hard to follow her own advice but curiosity kills me - Im such a present opener!
Today I got on the scale! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WTF!!!! I have lost 1 - one - une - un -ains - ien - eens - isa - dua - 'e-kahi - ena - ikk - odyn - hitotsu - qig - yksi - safu - besik - aon -newt pound!
I said that I WOULD NOT GET ON A SCALE UNTIL MY FILL - Yes that is what I said. No scale until April 12th - no - No - NO!!!!! I even told other newbies DONT GET ON THE SCALE! Im not going to - well guess what - Im an asshole who doesn't follow her own sound advice!
This morning my tricky little brain - the one that can send me into a tail spin of total 'diet depression' made me fell so light - I had to know - I must be down another 10lbs. ARGH!!!! NO!!!
I was so shocked and so sad - OMG what if Im the girl who doesn't lose - or worse what if I have to get a revision - a repair or any more surgery on my body????
I wanted to sit and cry and eat and eat and eat.... If I could have willed a bathroom full of chocolate I would have eaten every square inch of it. That evil monster that lurks in my brain did not let me go too long without a visit. I am still so sad as I write this - I have failed every other attempt to lose weight why on earth did I feel that this would change everything - did I do it again?
I thought I had a plan but really Im back to work tomorrow with NO PLAN - Soup is my plan - Im such a loser - I put my faith in SOUP. Im sure I will be stressed out and overwhelmed and I will want that little food fix to make the stress go away and I was going to go through the whole process of heating and eating soup instead of popping a small little chocolate in my mouth? HELLO WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Ok so I'm now here blogging - this is apparently PLAN B?
I've got nothing - Ive read my book - NOTHING - Im trying to back read on all of you amazing been there done that blogs and I can't concentrate or focus - I just want to cry! Im so unprepared - HOW THE HELL IS IT ALMOST MONDAY????? Where did my 2 weeks go? Im almost on soft - I can eat everything so far - except potato pancakes and even more than my cup at one sitting and my body is not hungry but my brain is FREAKING STARVING!
HELP?
Just breathe! You really are in bandsters hell right now. This phase isn't really about losing.it is about letting your stomach heal and starting new habits. You have little to no restriction! Don't beat yourself up, if anything, I would really up your protein as much as possible. You will get through it.
ReplyDeleteGirl, you're gonna be okay! I'm going thru the same thing. I have been weighing myself everyday (and trying not to freak out about it) but once my appetite came back, I gained a couple of pounds from my previous low that I hit shortly after surgery. I agree with what Angela said, up your protein. It keeps me full for a long time! I do a protein shake when I wake up with skim milk, protein powder, and half a banana....keeps me full (stuffed, actually) for 3-4 hours. I use this blender (http://www.amazon.com/Hamilton-Beach-51101B-Personal-Blender/dp/B0017XHSAE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332127641&sr=8-1) because the cup detaches and is portable! Works good because it takes me a while to drink the shake.
ReplyDeleteI also mince up some chicken with sour cream, cheese and taco sauce...yum! And some refried beans with enchilada sauce and cheese has lots of protein and it's yummy, too. Bandster hell is strictly us using willpower and dieting until we get our first fill. Deep breaths, it's gonna be okay. :) xoxo
I feel your pain...I am also hating this bandster hell...we will get thru it. Like the other posters said...we don't have a fill yet so there is really no restriction. I think we need to regroup and make sure we are getting in solid good for us protein...chicken, fish no sauce and vegetables...at least that is what I am telling myself today----good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all: *smack* That's for getting on the scale! There...now I kiss it better and I tell you that everything is going to be fine! I'm going to email you a couple of recipes and you can blend the shit out of them, or sometimes even not, because really, one is just my favourite mushy of all time...refried beans with melted cheese and a little bit o' sour cream! Yummmmm!
ReplyDeleteI hope your first day back is going well! How could it not be? Your co workers are angels! Take care! xo
The ladies above are all right. Just concentrate on healing. The exercise and the fills come fast enough.
ReplyDeleteI'd smack anyone who told me to just calm down, but really, that's the first step. I've lost 18.8 lbs during my lap band journey and 10 of those were pre-op. In the 6 weeks since surgery, I've only lost 8.8 lbs and I lost very little the first could of weeks. It happens. Your body is healing, the band is empty, and it seems like the end of the world is nigh. Give it time. A lot of people lose to weight or even gain some between surgery and restriction. That's life. But it's only TEMPORARY and you WILL get on track and you WILL lose weight! You can do it!!!
ReplyDeleteLike the others have said, you are in Bandster Hell. You are essentially dieting. Your band is not working the way it was designed to work.
ReplyDeleteThere could also be hormonal factors in play. I would suggest that you only weigh once a week. You can wait for your fill if you want, but you may prefer the "real time" feedback of more frequent weigh ins.
You will not fail. The band will not fail. Keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right track.
I'm late but wanted to send support your way. You'll be fine. You're a couple weeks out. Everyone inches up a few lbs when they go from liquids to soft food. EVERYONE. It's your body adjusting to eating actual food again. It's bandster hell, you'll get through it and this WILL WORK for you. You will not fail. You're going to make the right choices (not 100%) overall and you'll do fine. Hang in there!
ReplyDelete