Thursday 30 May 2013

TTT a special day...

1. Today is my baby's 13th birthday - happy birthday I love you xoxoxo


2. I have been super committed to re-attacking my weight (today was a total exception mmmm cupcakes) on Saturday I made an appointment with a personal trainer - I have no idea what Im getting myself into - she seemed totally earthy and was saying you shouldn't eat sugar and flour etc... OMG - what have I done??? Im not gluten intolerant and I can barely eat bread unless its burnt and Im so not there for her to tell me what to eat it has taking me over a year of struggling to figure out this band Im not having anyone mess with my fine balance except the nurses at the clinic. BUT... Im going to my appt open minded and hoping she can help me exercise to the best of my fat burning potential.

3. I spent Monday doing back to back to back lap band talks and webinars. The dietician twice (Im not keen on the dietician) and part 2 of this excellent webinar about getting to know your band. Im in the band zone.

4. I have except today been measuring and tracking on my fitness pal. Making notes etc. It doesn't feel as bad as writing it down I promised myself I would do it until the end of June.

5. I read Banded in the Burgh's blog today and she totally made a great mantra for the now - It made me think about how much Im missing out on the positive self talk. Thanks Chris!

6. I have made a promise to complete 3 new goals that are easy and simple and not weight # related although I really want to lose weight. These will be done by Sunday.

7. I am measuring everything and really trying to get out of my food rut and try new things that I normally would not eat. I am making sure to bring a lunch every day I work - it helps since the girl I work with is broke. I hope this helps me keep on track. Please share any lunch ideas and if you share them I will promise to try them.

8. My husband is irritating. Is it only me? I wish he travelled for work. He makes everything so stressful. I asked him to give me a month of not cooking for him and the kids so I can fully focus on the band and me. I cant eat with them I can actually feel the band tighten up. I have begged him to help and he says "Sure! anything you need"... in man speak that means 'duh - I'll bring a pizza home when I think of it'. 

9. I am planning to do a semi version of the pre op diet for 1 week next week to see if I can and if I can kick start this new plan into high before the summer is upon me.

10. Off topic for the last one.... Last night I left my car keys on my husbands car hood and this morning he drove off with them sitting right there. F$#% who can see a giant (I mean giant - 20 keys -3 different keychains on an even bigger hook) set of keys sitting right in front of their face? So my kids found them this morning about a block away at the stop sign totally mangled. So I call Mazda and say hoe much for a new key? $300.00 WTF! That includes the 1 hour programming charge - it takes 1 hour to program my key? No but our minimum labour cost is 1 hour at $95... I throw up a little in my mouth and then start planning my child's future as a mechanic making $95/hr. So $300.00 gone because Im forgetful... nice!



Wednesday 22 May 2013

Hiding

I cant even remember the last time I blogged which is sad. I have been struggling with my band for so long that I just hated all the complaining that I had been doing on my blog. I really thought this would be more simple.

I have had a big unfill and another barium swallow and it was lovely to be able to eat without throwing everything up but it wasnt lovely to know that my band was fine and that it was my fault that this is not working for me.

I have lost zero since my last blog. Im depressed and trying to figure out what to do from here. I was hoping it was the band... that would have been easy.

I know my coworkers and family are wondering what went wrong and I have been lying to them blaming my band because I dont want to deal with their advice.

I feel like Ive let me down and everyone around me. Im just working my way through - waiting for it all to click.

But for now Im reading your blogs when I can and trying to revamp my strategy.