Thursday, 29 December 2011

To tell or not to tell ????

Ok - tomorrow is my sister dinner with my birth sisters.

a bit of background.... I was adopted and raised as an only child and found my birth family almost 12 years ago - 2 full sisters (birth mom & dad married) plus 2 half sisters (birth mom and dad didn't work out)

We have a strange relationship - where they call me their sister but sometimes dont include me in super important moments.

My surgery is super important. I do not need anything negative. So the 2 full sisters 1 would be positive and secretly hate me and the other is a crap shoot. The 2 half sisters would be good about it and not really care cause they are young and the world revolves around them.

So my problem is I cant tell 1 with out telling all 4.

Do I tell or not??? They will obviously notice me losing weight and not eating tons of food at special occasions.

Im so torn... I was going to tell one of them but then stopped myself. I think I felt it was not fair to tell the 1 and not the others - too much of a secret for her to keep. She has a weight issue too so I really wanted to tell her but she's also the youngest so Its alot of info to take in.

I've got till 4:00pm tomorrow to decide...


  1. It's a tough decision for you. They are your family and should fully support you but people can be funny about things you don't expect. My only advice is to be entirely certain before you tell anyone as you can't change your mind once you've told them but you can tell them later. xx

  2. I have to agree with Sarah. I have 4 siblings but only told 3 of them. I don't know if the sister I didn't tell knows or not, nor do I care. She is a strange bird. I haven't told many. Only those that I knew would be supportive. My one friend who I thought would be ecstatic was critical. And she was an RN. So you never know. I'd say wait and decide at a later date. You will know if it is the right time. Just know, we all support you 100%.

  3. Just found your blog and wanted to offer my 2 cents. Don't tell anyone that you don't want to. So if you think you have to tell all 4 if you tell 1, then I wouldn't because you don't REALLY want to share it with them. You can always change your mind later. Personally, I haven't told many people. People can be judgmental and negative and I just didn't need that while I was going through preop stuff. Good luck with whatever you decide!

  4. I agree with everyone else. Once you tell them; you can not take it back. If you feel the desire later, tell them later- no rush.

  5. I say do what you feel is right, and if that is not telling them yet, good for you. You can always tell them later. This is your journey and if the people you tell are not supportive, it can do more harm than good.

  6. I was in the closet for a long time. It wasn't until after I'd lost a LOT of weight that I started telling people. I think because in the beginning I thought "what if this DOESN'T work? Then how ashamed will I be?" When I was succeeding, it seemed ok to tell.

  7. awesome blog by the way! what a difficult question, I'm struggling with who to tell and not to tell myself...usually I'm the biggest blabber mouth there is! Whatever decision you do make, I hope that you will find lots of support. And your post about the sleep study test...ugh, so with you, hate those things! Looking forward to reading about your journey


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