I so wanted to move my surgery date up - I feel sooo heavy and its starting to hurt and make me tired so I called and the days I wanted were full and I had 3 to pick from.
So here I am stuck with March 7th, 2012. I wish that I had the will power that some of you had to do it ASAP - go in and book it right away - me 'the planner' went in and decided - then left and then said OK the most convenient date is.... March 7th, 2012 and called back with my deposit.
The idea that I planned my surgery date while considering - Not wanting to miss eating - at Christmas -My birthday party trip to the Bahamas in January with my friends - where I will still be the fat friend - My 40th birthday - where I will still be fat wondering if I'll have a heart attack after I eat my fab lobster dinner and not get the surgery after all cause I'll be dead and last but not least - My work obligations including an opening night gala with yummy food that I have been actually planning to eat since September which is on February 21st - the day before my POST OP liquid hell start date.
My whole thinking is changing - I cant believe how quickly - I'm no longer scared after reading all the wonderful blogs here and and I WANT the surgery NOW and to start a different life as ME - but at the time that I made the decision - I was afraid and afraid of all the eating that I would miss - I know all about the 'food funeral' mine will just last for months it seems.
Oh well - I guess its meant to be this way anyway it would shock the hell out of my friends if I was no longer the fat one. Wont they be surprised next year at their 40th birthday trips...
I know it is tempting to eat a lot while waiting for surgery, but try to do it in moderation. You will regret having more to work at losing after.
ReplyDeleteYou will be the skinny chick next year. You will look back at this as the start of a better you.
March will be here before you know it. And next year at this time it will not matter if you had the surgery today or in March. relax- this is an interesting journey you are starting. Tty to enjoy it and treasure the good and the bad. Because it will all be worth it.
It will be here before you know it!
ReplyDeleteIt will be here before you can blink, and look at he next few months, not as a food funeral, but as a learning experience. You' can still enjoy the events without being focused on the food, try to find other things to enjoy about the parties :o)
ReplyDeleteYou have to have a plan. And arranging things to make it the work for you is the best thing you can do. And I loved your last line. Wait til they see you next year!
ReplyDeleteI booked my surgery in July for the end of October. I had my 30th, a 2 week holiday in Florida, a charity cross country marathon walk I was taking part in and then couldn't take time off until then. It was a long wait and I did put on weight (because part of me thought it will be easier to get off with the band) but those special occasions were my band equivalent of a hen do before a wedding and I wouldn't have missed them for the world. xx
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