I so wanted to move my surgery date up - I feel sooo heavy and its starting to hurt and make me tired so I called and the days I wanted were full and I had 3 to pick from.
So here I am stuck with March 7th, 2012. I wish that I had the will power that some of you had to do it ASAP - go in and book it right away - me 'the planner' went in and decided - then left and then said OK the most convenient date is.... March 7th, 2012 and called back with my deposit.
The idea that I planned my surgery date while considering - Not wanting to miss eating - at Christmas -My birthday party trip to the Bahamas in January with my friends - where I will still be the fat friend - My 40th birthday - where I will still be fat wondering if I'll have a heart attack after I eat my fab lobster dinner and not get the surgery after all cause I'll be dead and last but not least - My work obligations including an opening night gala with yummy food that I have been actually planning to eat since September which is on February 21st - the day before my POST OP liquid hell start date.
My whole thinking is changing - I cant believe how quickly - I'm no longer scared after reading all the wonderful blogs here and and I WANT the surgery NOW and to start a different life as ME - but at the time that I made the decision - I was afraid and afraid of all the eating that I would miss - I know all about the 'food funeral' mine will just last for months it seems.
Oh well - I guess its meant to be this way anyway it would shock the hell out of my friends if I was no longer the fat one. Wont they be surprised next year at their 40th birthday trips...