I said I'd never lie to you all. So here I am telling you I am a weak weak person and I cheated I even wished I could have had a coke on top of the yummies I consumed.
After my night of hell I couldn't get anything down - hot tea, a few crackers and half a shake. Yesterday I went back to my shakes vanilla with the sugar free caramel and water. I must admit I had planned a bit of a cheat incase I couldn't handle all the yummy food at my works opening night that I am required to attend. So I drank water all day after my 1 shake.
Well I did cheat and I tried soooo hard for it to only be 1 thing - that turned into 1 of everything and then 2 of something etc....
So now like my other binges in the past I feel shame, guilt, and self hate that I am weak and overall sadness.
I have vowed to stay 100% on the pre op from today forward. I really want to do this and be successful. I can't be around food - it is clear.
I hope I didn't totally fuck everything up.
Ok...in future, if you think you're going to slip like that, CALL ME!!!!! Like they do in AA! I will talk you down!
ReplyDeleteThis pre-op diet is serious! Just keep thinking what if they open you up and see your liver NOT shrunken, and they decide it's too dangerous to do the surgery like that, and they just close you up again! Just keep thinking happy, tiny liver thoughts! This too shall pass, angel!
Test comment...you smell :P
ReplyDeleteYay! It works!
ReplyDelete