1. So I have been away for a pretty great holiday. But I am overwhelmed now that Im home - things are still unpacked and I can't find my favourite shrug (I hate when things go missing) etc... So today is a get shit done and clean and organize day for me... starting with my blog.
2. Im doing my BOOBS challenge and its super hard to get back on track after indulging sooooooo much on holiday. But yesterday I weighed in at 258.8 and went down 2lbs. from my post holiday weight in only 2 days. YEAH! So even though these women frighten me with their email trash talk and evil online stares (please don't hurt me) Im planning to kick some ass on this thing.
3. Got 0.1cc of a fill on Tuesday and I promised myself that I will be a total rule follower (so not me). I didn't eat 2 hours before and I only had liquids afterwards and then I had some fish for dinner. I was so head hungry doing this cause I had just been on holiday and threw all out the window. I can't even remember whats in my band anymore. Im not getting another fill until after BOOBS.
4. On Wednesday I started yet again tracking what I eat - Thank You My fitness Pal! I measured everything and wrote it all down. I know Ive said it before - I HATE LOGGING FOOD. It reminds me of every diet Ive ever been on.
5. I started daily weigh ins - This was my previous MO years ago when I was right in my eating disorder and I would weigh in everyday and basically set my self worth based on the scale #'s. But this time its very different - I NEED to lose weight and seeing the scale go in the right or wrong direction is no longer connected to who I am or what Im worth. I really think that checking my weight on the scale daily will keep me accountable. Im the great accountability avoider when it comes to my weight so maybe I need to have it stare me in the face every morning. I like Lap Band Gals thinking to weigh in daily but only count 1 day as your official weigh in. Being on the BOOBS challenge makes this Wednesday for me. Thanks BOOBS Challenge!
6. Numer 6 is a bit intense and not directly weight related... I am adopted and I met my birth family 12 years ago - Mom, Dad, 4 sisters - the whole bunch of them. The whole meeting and relationship with them has been quite the emotional ride. I can totally tell how ashamed my birth moms side of the family is cause Im fat. At first they kept me a secret from family members, then in 2008 they started introducing me. Now they have cut me off from events - I guess they don't like that Im honest and have a often broken filter. I find this rich since my one sister is a drug addict and really has no shame or filter but she's thin and beautiful so I guess thats ok??? Anyways - when I returned from my holiday I found out yet again I was not invited to a family event (this one is really close family) so I was again feeling hurt and like shit so I decided to just put a stop to it all. I have sent an email to my siblings and a letter to my birth mom saying that I don't want to be a part of their family anymore and that they are basically off the hook from trying to hide plans that I was not included in. Im so tired of feeling sad when they do this. I will completely miss them and I have nephews and a niece that I adore that I will miss too. I really hope that we can find some balance so we can keep in touch later but I think for now this is the way to go - I have my own screwed up family and I was soooo better off being adopted. If the only bad thing I am is being fat then I think Ive done really well in my life. I find my hard shell that I used to have always has thinned out a bit in my old age but hopefully some weight loss and calcium will fix that.
7. Ive been looking into water pilates and I found these videos and classes (from Chicago BTW BOOBS people) so I totally want to get them to do in my new swim spa that I can't use since it's finally raining here.
8. Ive decided to grow my hair long - this is my new midlife crisis move. Right now my hair resembles Gene Simmons unless I straighten it. so maybe some length and a new cut will bring back some life to my scary hair.
9. My oldest son is going to camp on Sunday for 2 weeks WOOOOO HOOOO!!!! I do love him but I sooo need a break from all the tween attitude and boy in puberty BO. I get to spend some alone time with my youngest who won't be so young in another year. I can already see the changes in him and he's defiantly leaving his cute baby days behind :(
10. I will leave this all over the place 10 things Thursday on a positive note... I hope you all are enjoying your lives and stopping to take a breath while on this weight loss journey. We are all sooo worthy of a good life where we can move and do whatever our hearts desire. I spent years afraid of WLS but Im so happy I did it when I did and Im so grateful and feel blessed to have my bloggy friends.
Love you all - supper good thoughts and don't forget to drink your water!!!!