Monday, 14 May 2012

Bread - Stuck - Up!!! a.k.a. Am I insane???

Ok they say the definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over and looking for different results.

I LOVE bread - yes I would kick my hubby out of bed for a really well made baguette. I especially LOVE egg bread - So soft - so yummy. I now have a band & I can't eat the soft yummy bread anymore - I have tried and learned the hard way again & again that I can't eat the soft bread.

Soft bread + Band = Painfully Stuck & PB'ing, self hate and crying.

Crackers - ok, chips - ok, crust in tiny pieces - yup still good but soft bread is bad Bad BAD!

So why the hell do I keep trying to eat it? Am I trying to hurt myself? Stretch my pouch? I don't want surgery again. Im so lost with this band - all my go to food is causing me pain and really lets face it suffering... Am I insane? IS the FOOD that Important?

Look these hot dogs are even wrapped in straitjackets made out of bread! This is a SIGN!!!!

I go for my fill on Thursday and I hope that they are going to give me something that will make me not feel hungry every 2 hours and that will make me feel full and give me that signal that enough is enough.

Ive done lots of thinking since my surgery and I need to make this work but this is the hardest thing Ive ever had to learn to live with. Everything I know and love about food has changed. I love learning about new food and I wish I could WANT to exercise but I would rather have a root canal - my feet still hurt and my hips hurt more with my weight loss than before - I guess from being off balance while losing weight but I don't have my va-voom to push through the hard parts - thats where the egg bread came in. I know stupid - It was my yummy comfort food that made me suffer when it was over like some bad STD contracted on an impulsive one night stand in the back of a car.

AM i going to be one of those band failure stories? Fu*K I hope not - I had so much faith in my power to do it and I was realistic about my band and its powers - wheres that high and excitement?

I need to be inspired again! Peace and retreat! I couldn't abandon my family & work for some peace - not now in crazy season. So I guess I'll linger here and hope that fixing the many broken things around the house will help me to achieve some part of peace... but all in all in the end I will still love my bread!


  1. You will get stuck on the same things over and over. You will be able to eat something one day and not the other. It can be tough, because if food was your comfort its gone when you need it most.
    You can do this, lots of us have and we are not better than you. Don't beat yourself up- if you hate exercising and its stressing you out don't worry about it right now and focus on the food. When you are getting hungry every 2 hours is it after you eat solid proteins? Or are carbs mixed in too? Carbs aren't the devil, but they can fill you up quickly but don't keep you full for long.
    Don't get down. If you ever want to talk, reach out to one of us. We've been there.

  2. First, know that you are still in bandster hell and it WILL GET BETTER. Second, know that yes, some things are just gonna be on the no-no list. For me, it's fast food chinese. Regular chinese is OK but Panda Express, Pei Wei...all lead to terrible stuck episodes. Also, for me...soda. The carbonation caused me almost 6 months of ridiculous pain and suffering and for what??? Empty liquid calories. Find some high protein (not necessarily low carb) recipes and explore your new options. I love bread but I've got to eat it EXTREMELY slowly to get it down. You can do this! There is definitely a learning curve but you're not falling behind it. :)

  3. Hang in there, it'll all be worth it!

  4. ok, so I finally have awesome restriction and it is giving me hope that this is going to just need more fill to get there. Trust me, when you are there you will just not eat much and you will feel hungry for quite awhile but you have to get the fills in. As for exercise...I totally get it I don't want to exercise either. I can walk though so I go for a 15 min walk every 4 hours and I can easily get in my 10000 steps a day...that is a grace of almost 500 extra calories I could eat but I don't. Bread schmead.....think how good skinny will feel!

  5. I am not banded yet, but I really appreciated this honest post. This is what all of us will/have gone through and it is not going to be/wasn't easy. We are changing a life time of habits. You will mess up. I will mess up. BUT I will succeed more than I don't. You will too. Everyone says it get's easier. I believe them. Hang in there and know we are all rooting for you!

  6. My clinic bans bread until 3 months post op. They say you need the time to get used to the new way of eating before it's safe to eat. Try giving it up for a few more weeks before you try again. It won't/shouldn't be forever. xx

  7. We have all been exactly where you are. You may be able to eat bread again in the future. I can eat 3-4 bites of bread. Anymore than that an I get STUCK. After you get used to your band you will get more adventurous and try different things. Do not worry.

  8. This too shall pass! I replaced bread and chips with a new band-friendly comfort food. Greek yogurt w. granola or chocolate soy milk blended with raspberries. Its all about substituting. No more pasta, I use quinoa pasta. No more white rice, I use quinoa or wild rice. No more bread, I use a wrap or lettuce as a wrap. It takes time... hang in there! Solid proteins and not drinking will keep you full when you get your fill level perfected. This could take forever too it may seem but it is worth the wait!

  9. Oh, the loss of comfort foods, yup, that is painful. But, my friend, is it REALLY worth what it has done to your body? I have found myself trying to stuff in food and CRYING. Then I realized I was trying to push back emotion with a McDonald's hamburger. I am almost a year out now and some days I still try it but it is less and less often.
    Try to find outher ways to cope. I am no expert but I do know that in order to see the big changes you want- you have to make big changes to what you do. Hang in there- it will get easier.


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