I LOVE bread - yes I would kick my hubby out of bed for a really well made baguette. I especially LOVE egg bread - So soft - so yummy. I now have a band & I can't eat the soft yummy bread anymore - I have tried and learned the hard way again & again that I can't eat the soft bread.
Soft bread + Band = Painfully Stuck & PB'ing, self hate and crying.
Crackers - ok, chips - ok, crust in tiny pieces - yup still good but soft bread is bad Bad BAD!
So why the hell do I keep trying to eat it? Am I trying to hurt myself? Stretch my pouch? I don't want surgery again. Im so lost with this band - all my go to food is causing me pain and really lets face it suffering... Am I insane? IS the FOOD that Important?
Look these hot dogs are even wrapped in straitjackets made out of bread! This is a SIGN!!!!
I go for my fill on Thursday and I hope that they are going to give me something that will make me not feel hungry every 2 hours and that will make me feel full and give me that signal that enough is enough.
Ive done lots of thinking since my surgery and I need to make this work but this is the hardest thing Ive ever had to learn to live with. Everything I know and love about food has changed. I love learning about new food and I wish I could WANT to exercise but I would rather have a root canal - my feet still hurt and my hips hurt more with my weight loss than before - I guess from being off balance while losing weight but I don't have my va-voom to push through the hard parts - thats where the egg bread came in. I know stupid - It was my yummy comfort food that made me suffer when it was over like some bad STD contracted on an impulsive one night stand in the back of a car.
AM i going to be one of those band failure stories? Fu*K I hope not - I had so much faith in my power to do it and I was realistic about my band and its powers - wheres that high and excitement?
I need to be inspired again! Peace and retreat! I couldn't abandon my family & work for some peace - not now in crazy season. So I guess I'll linger here and hope that fixing the many broken things around the house will help me to achieve some part of peace... but all in all in the end I will still love my bread!