There are many things that I am disappointed about right now that are directly associated with how I blog and how often....
My BOOBS experience really put a new spin on how I look at blogging and I must say that I have lost my excitement for it. I came home and stopped following several people since I could no longer with the same enthusiasm after meeting them in real life.
I was however blessed to add some wonderful ladies to my FB page and continue our friendship on a different level.
My last fill was not successful and Im sure that the .2cc's got injected into my belly fat and not my port... this was confirmed by my husband who claims that I am a bitch when my fill works... and I was "too happy" to have just had a fill.
I am really having struggles with my band - I am super sensitive to it. I knew that the fill didnt work - I even asked her if she got it in as I didnt feel it. She insured me that the saline went in - yes but where cause it wasnt my band... I have been asking for an image of my band to be taken and they have refused me as they do not believe that anything is wrong again (since I dont have reflux???) I know my body - there is something fishy... I have gone to my GP but she would like me to ask again at the clinic before she steps on anyones toes.
I feel like a failure since everyone around me is expecting some incredible weight loss and Im just struggling along - up and down the same weight for the past 2 months. My overall loss is only 33 lbs and I am so upset because 33lbs is certainly not worth $16,000.00.
I have been questioning my reasons for doing this in the first place since I was not going to have WLS ever and then I started to worry about my health and the opportunity for the band came fast and furious into my path. I thought it was a sign that maybe I needed to revisit this. So here I am 7 months banded and feeling like I never was.
Sorry for the negativity - Im just in that place now... Maybe its the cold cold Canadian weather???
Would it be possible to self-pay for a fluoroscopy barium swallow at another surgeons practice? It would be worth it to see what's up and see your band. Just an idea
ReplyDeleteIf I complain enough I should be able to get one from my family Dr. but the problem is she wont know what she's look at or for. Im her 1st patient to get the band not the bypass (bypass is covered here) My clinic thinks that since I dont have reflux than my band is fine. That cant be the only sign that there is a problem. So if my GP gives me the ok for the flourscopy then I can take the film to my band clinic and ask what im looking at. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI like LBG's suggestion. Also, read the article she posted a few days ago about restriction. It really changed the way I think about how this thing is supposed to work. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteTo get things started, I'm sending hugs!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, it's ok.
Am I correct in thinking it's close to a year that you have been banded?
Thirty three pounds might not sound like a lot but do you think without the band you would be at a 33 pound weight loss?
How much does your band hold? And how much is in there?
And then there's the questions I never like to hear. :)
Are you drinking your water? Are you taking vitamins? Do you take calcium?
I ask because I was stalled for TWO years girlfriend. I got down and out also.
When I got the band, I knew the drinking eating would never be a problem for me. I can literally go all day without drinking a drop. I've always been like that.
But when I started drinking water(and I had to force myself), went and bought some vitamins and most importantly, when I started taking calcium(helps me tremendously with sugar cravings)and got a slight fill, things started moving again.
Also, I know you are an emotional eater. So am I. Journal as much as you can. And no matter where you are at on this journey, LOVE YOURSELF.
It took me a long time to love myself unconditionally. I'm going to make mistakes, not everyone is going to like me, and it's ok. You are lovable.
Hang in there, do WHAT YOU CAN, let the dr. help you.
I love you, and I am here for you.
Sandra
I feel ya. I feel like I am not successful at it either. 33 lbs is good though. I could have never lost as much as I have so far without the band. Keep chugging along and just pray about it.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could just skip on up to Canada and throw my arms around you and squeeze tight! I am so sorry you are so frustrated. If you really feel like something is wrong, don't give up on getting the fluro. Tell your doctor just what you have told us. If they still won;t do it seek out another doctor. I heart you bunches and it makes me sad to know you are feeling this way. Sending you southern fried (no calories though) hugs and kisses!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, picture me hugging the shit outta you right now. Because that's what I'm doing.
ReplyDelete2nd, on the blogging thing....do what YOU want. I don't know your history on why you started blogging, but my guess is you wanted somewhere to track your thoughts, feelings, actions in relation to weight loss. At some point you thought it would help, right? OK, so why give that up, if it would help? Don't worry about others blogs or what you write on here, do what YOU want to do. And if blogging doesn't help you all that much, hell, then just take a break for awhile. (I mean, I will miss the shit outta you, but we still have FB!)
But really, do what YOU want to do.
And as far as the weight loss, it sounds like you need a little intervention. Think back to why you wanted to do this in the first place? Probably lose weight and be healthy right? Right. So do you still want that? Bet your ass you do. You don't want to give up, because that's the fat talking. And she's a skanky bitch.
Did you know it took me 7 years to get 20 lbs off? 7 years!! That's crazypants. But I kept at it, on and off, trying my best, until I got to where I want to be.
You can do it too. It may be slow and hard and you may want to cry your eyes out, but all that will just make it more worth it in the end!!!
Love you sweety!!
I'm going to send you a seperate message but wanted to send out my love to you.. I'm the queen of slow losing and it is frustrating but you just gotta keep on keeping on and eventually it'll all kick in. I had a little epiphany while hanging out with Jenn these past two days and I'll blog about it sometime soon.
ReplyDeletein the meantime, know that you have the support of many of us and we love you.
I wish I could say something magical here but all I wanna say is listen to the bloggers above...they know their shit. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for being here. Im down to only 26 followers but the ones following are awesome!!! Big hugs and love to you all. Im not giving up yet.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry I missed this...Sofie..I wish I could hug you right now. You are what I call the emotional turmoil right now. I think you are an emotional eater like I am and when food is not there to stuff down your emotions you become very emotional and easily upset..its so easy to turn to food but you can't this is when you really need to log when you eat and what you are feeling so that you can start to turn to something else besides food to fill that hole. I heart you and I know this is a struggle .2 is a small fill so no wonder you didn't feel it..you need another...and probably another...until you get the restriction you need. But while you are getting there keep practicing the rules you were taught and work on the emotions and filling them with something other than food.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are struggling right now. Been there. A lot. All I can offer is to hang in there. It will get better. It is so hard not to compare ourselves to others on this journey... but you can't. Our journey's are all different. Your's may be a little slower than you want or envisioned... but you lost 33 pounds. That is a lot. Be proud of that.
ReplyDeleteAs for the blogging thing... I wasn't in Chicago... not sure what went on that would make you no "feel" it anymore. But if you don't "feel" it. Then don't. Just know that we are out here wishing the best for you and are here to support you on this journey. Chin up missy. The good times are around the corner.((hugs))