Yesterday was my birthday - my 1st birthday with my band....
It has been a stressful 2 weeks with work and just general crap that I have been extra sensitive to but yesterday was my birthday - a day of relaxation a lazy day to open presents, have junky but safe food, etc... but somehow I managed to be stuck on scrambled eggs and bacon... WHY? on my birthday? I even waited until 10:30am and had a tea 1st...
WHY??????????????
I Pb'd my food on my birthday while I sobbed...
I dont get it???
Im so frustrated - I really cant figure it out sometimes. Im going along perfectly fine and I can eat this and I can eat that but when something is really important - dinner with friends or birthdays or holidays I'm F%#$en Pb'ing on even my safe foods in the middle of the street or at the Harry Potter theme park or even in my bathroom on my birthday.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
And my head is screaming - it says "Why am I being denied a nice birthday meal by this band?" Its so depressing when this happens and then I have to go on soft and liquids to make my band less sensitive and then Im starving even more. Im going in for a fill on Monday because I was already hungry....
Sometimes when I get like this I regret my decision and wish I had my money back in my pocket but I can't with any certainty know if I would be around to spend it - I would have surely hit 300lbs+ by now and I would have started some form of meds.
I wish I could just jump start this whole thing... I seem to get 10 steps forward and 12 steps back... Somethings got to give...
Maybe my older self will impart some wisdom in the next few days.... but in the meantime I will take any advise that you may want to share on how to get going again.
Im so sorry you had a bad day! Please don't let yourself sink down that path. You are changing your life for the better. We all have good and bad days. Focus on the good.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pbing at important times, could it be that you are eating to quick not stopping to think about each bite?
Hope today is better
Well this probably isn't what you want to hear or do....But....
ReplyDeletekeeping a log of your food and the reaction you have might be helpful.
Are you eating slider foods? What foods are making you pb?
If you want, post what you have been eating and the reaction to it. Sometimes seeing it in writing and other people seeing it, can give you feedback!
Turn that frown upside down my Canadian Cupcake! Maybe the stress (or even excitement) of the holidays/special occassions makes you tighter. For some reason I am much tighter on days I sleep later...which means I am really tight aon weekends. It used to piss me off, but now I look at it as a blessing, because the weekends are when I would most likely eat junk any way. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeletewhen I am with friends....totally have to eat safe foods...because I don't pay attention to how I am eating..I know you my social butterfly..you get to talking and forget how you are eating...and SCRAMBLED EGGS...your just asking for trouble....you know most banders can't eat that! Pick something safer. I heart you but you are just testing your band..always...stop it. Find some good food that you know will go down and quit trying to push the limits on it! Good luck, I know you can do this!
ReplyDelete