Ok - Im up watching mindless kid movies last night with my little guy and all of a sudden Im starving - ALL I WANT IS PIZZA...mmmmmmm
So I order it and I go get it so it's still hot and eat 4 giant slices (had to shove that last one in). It was so good.
I have promised myself that I would eat anything that I wanted until my pre op so I didnt feel like I missed out but since I booked my date I havent really been eating out of the norm (except for my mother in laws xmas cookies). I thought that maybe I wouldnt need to do it - that my mind was made up and it would give me a break so I could gently ease into my pre op diet.
Maybe it is because I have been working like a maniac to get some extra money (so I dont feel as guilty that my hubby is paying for alot of the surgery cost) that I havent been hungry but last night I think I would have gone out in a blizzard and sold a kid for the pizza.
Now Im thinking about food all the time - I was even eating in my dream. Im feel like Ive just come back from being stranded on an island and Im soooooo hungry - I know this is mostly mental hunger and I dont really care. I just hope I dont have a heart attack before my surgery from all the food I intend to eat.
I know that people have mixed emotions about the 'Food Funeral' - not wanting to add more weight to have to get rid of after, making it harder to do the pre op after eating so much... etc...
But I think for me I need to ride this out - give in to the food like I always have - maybe its the right way to say goodbye to all my unhealthy habits? To give the food one last moment in the drivers seat...
It was best said by The Doors...
This is the end - my only friend - the end.
It hurts to set you free - but you'll never follow me... This is the end...
Can you picture what will be - so limitless and free...
ok the bit about the island and heart attack had me in stiches....too funny!!!! I can't wait for the band too!
ReplyDeleteI think mental hunger is the biggest part of the food funeral! It's just the thought that you will never be able to have those foods again. You will be able to, but it will just be a while and when you do eat them again it will be in smaller, more enjoyable amounts! So try to think of it like that :o)
ReplyDeleteFor me it's being told I can't. I wonder how it will be when I get closer to my surgery? I told myself that I'm going to slowly prepare myself, so this month, I am just going to write down what I eat and not limit or diet. I'm also adding more veggies and fruits. Strangely I'm not craving as much food and when I allow myself some chips I don't eat the whole bag (and by that I don't mean those little lunch bags...ugh). It's been nice this freedom. I'm hoping it's what I'll feel like after the surgery....But, I wonder when I get closer if I will still feel this way? Nice post.
ReplyDeleteStop. I am going to give you tough love.
ReplyDeleteWith the lap band you will be able to eat these things. And you will enjoy them. But you need to start enjoying them in moderation. The lap band after a month or two will not do all the work; you need to learn how to eat a little bit and trust it is enough. It is true, any weight you put on now will be weight you need to take off later.
I am not saying do not eat and enjoy foods before surgery- I am just saying take small bites, savor it and try to moderate.
I totally get it. It's such a mental anguish. I think the 'not-knowing' is what makes it much worse. We think we will never experience X,Y,Z but in reality we probably will. Glad you enjoyed your pizza so now just get it in more in check right? I am going thru the same thing as well over here. - Also I am tagging you on my page :)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to piggyback on Robyn's comment. The lapband isn't going to stop you from eating these things, especially in the beginning. Most people have very little restriction right away. You WILL eat these foods again, just less of them. The lapband does NOTHING to your brain...I repeat..it doesn't change your brain. LOL. It will still take mental willpower not to eat the crap we've been eating for years and you will not always succeed at doing so. Have your last supper, if you wish but do it knowing that it's not really how it's going to be. :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I didn't mean to sound harsh...I have tendency to just tell it like it is. Please don't hate me. LOL
ReplyDeleteHi! I just found your blog :)
ReplyDeleteI think we all had our "Last Supper" syndrome. I like the food funeral better. Funny, but after a few weeks of eating everything I could, I got tired of all the excess. It really is a mind game. You will be able to eat all those things again. But you just might not want to.
ReplyDelete