When the going gets tough...

the tough have a freaking meltdown!

Ok - I am not proud of myself.

My band journey is a hike up an active volcano and I live in a place where it is so freaking cold and grey for sooooooo long that Im surprised that the suicide rate is not higher. But I have my moments of clarity and know what needs to be done and then I make a plan and I get to it....

Like on Saturday - I heard my spa/inn was opening memberships to the public 6am-11pm - pool, gym, infrared sauna, steam room private, free lockers, renovated showers... I thought.. how wonderful! - its a peaceful lovely place in the woods and the pool is warm and the infrared sauna will help me detox from all the sugar of the chocolate filled holidays plus I can go in the morning before the kids are even awake... 

So I go right away to sign up... I find out that the steam room is under construction (not a deal breaker) and the sauna can only be used after 8am - ok still works for me... Sign me up!!!

Now this morning I wake up bright and early to go start my new detox/exercise plan - 7:45am I arrive at the gym to find all the doors locked so I wonder around the building - its -11C and super windy BTW - I finally find someone and they give me the code - I wasn't told any code... Ok Im ok. The entire place is deserted - ok Its not 8am yet - fine.... I go to the change room which is right beside the pool and all the lockers are locked ??? ok am I supposed to take all my stuff to the pool deck with me?? So I find a phone and dial 0.. The inn operator answers and tells me to use the lockers at the gym - at the other end of the building - Am I suppose to walk from the lockers in my bathing suit to the pool and then back soaking wet to get my cloths? Well I guess so. Are you serious? Sorry

Ok now Im a bit agitated and its 8am and no one is there... I thought they open at 8am? So I go swim and figure I would see someone when Im done... I swim for 20 luxurious minutes and Im thinking about how great I will feel in that hot sauna...

Did I mention that I was drinking this gross detox concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup (dont get excited there wasnt enough in it to even taste it) and cayenne pepper - you know to help detox

So I leave the pool and I go into the change room and there is no one... what the hell - lockers are still locked and there isnt anyone in sight so I put my sweater on cause the tiny towels they have provide do not cover my fat self and I go looking for a human.. I find Joann... she will turn the sauna on for me - it will take 10 minutes - She informs me that she cannot unlock the lockers - they belong to the spa and they will not be in until 10am - ok Im not pleased with the situation but I will wait to try and salvage the morning... So I read emails and try and stay warm and then she comes back 15 minutes later and tells me the sauna is not working... OMG really... Im done now - Im going to shower and leave I look to make sure they have hairdryers because its -11C outside and -30 with the windchill... Now WHY would they have hairdryers ???? Because they used to? Because every spa on the F@#$%n planet has hairdryers???? No Hairdryers.... AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joann tells me they also belong to the spa and will be unlocked when the spa opens at 10am... so what are the real hours of the membership???  10am-5pm on most days... You've got to be kidding me!!!!!???

So Im mad now and I go home - wet and cold and really angry and upset that again my best intentions for weight loss have been thwarted! I cray the 10minutes home and call the spa in the afternoon to ask how the membership benefits match what I experienced today??? I found out that the sauna is broken and the hairdryers will still be locked up and I should speak to the manager who wasnt in. So I left a message and maybe I should have followed my hubby's 24hr rule but I lost my marbles on the voicemail so Im just wondering what will happen when she listens to it (akward ha ha!)

So that is that... I didn't binge - which I would have PB'ing and all but I didn't stick perfectly to my detox plan either so here I am without a plan anymore and more frustrated that when I started.

Thats my meltdown recap... thanks for reading...

1 year banded...10 things about my year

not my cake but very cool (and a bit weird) that someone made a lap band/stomach cake

Happy Birthday LOLA!!!

On March 7th I was banded - I was scared and excited and had alot of hope for the future... fast forward a year later and Im alot more realistic about my journey and I now know what I can expect from my band. So in the spirit of 10 things Thursday here are the 10 things Ive learned this year.

1. Old habits are really really hard to change and the band is not magic - no matter how much I hoped it would be. The band will not stop me from emotional eating (it sometimes makes me want to eat) only I can stop me.

2. Most slider foods are really really fattening.

3. I wish I never told people that I got my band... They watch and judge and advise (my favourite) but they don't get it...

4. Even though I said I would never compare myself to other bandsters - I do.

5. This year has been a journey of very little weight loss but alot of learning.

6. With the band I don't go up with my weight when Im having a rough time - I just sit on hold and when Im ready I can always start again.

7. The band has really shown me what outside factors play with my emotions - situations that I never thought made me stressed out do... even if I dont look it or feel it - the band always knows and gets super tight.

8. Saggy skin bothers me more than I expected.

9. The learning will never stop. The band is always changing along with my shape - what works today might not work tomorrow - the best thing that I can do is to have a plan.

10. Blogging and meeting some of you in person is one of the best thing I've ever done for myself. ((((HUGS))))